Kayne Watching: The Birth of Kayne’s Love Child (spoiler)

Posted by mmmshado on August 10, 2006

Last time on Kayne watching, we were faced with the disappointment of Kayne being on one of the bottom two teams- the absolute worst place for our namesake to be. So to lighten up the mood from that, I’ve thought of several names for Kayne’s hair color. Please jump in if you have any…


Kaynesaver Orange


Triple Kayne

Grand Kayneier

Ok, now onto the show. Based off the previews from last week, I felt confident coming into this challenge that Kayne was going to have a success as there were no exasperated looks from him on the runway- but despite those previews, there’s always the worry that he’ll just be moved on to the next round and not stand out as he always should. So, I think most Kayne Watchers were feeling cautiously optimistic at this point.

The episode really started this week when the models’ names were drawn from a bag and they were forced to choose exactly who they wanted to work with this week. In, what I think, a very unfortunate twist of fate, the last two models drawn from the bag were the ones to go home. Somehow I’m not seeing the fairness of this. But Amanda chose Kayne beyond anybody else to work with this week and Kayne’s big winner, Katya from the Miss USA episode, was out. Katya- thank you so much for helping give Kayne his first big win! Good luck.

Ok models- let’s make it work, shall we? In the workroom, the Idols were set up- Madonna, Cher, Marilyn, Audrey, Jackie O and etc. The pictures were the carrot in front of these models’ eyes- or celery, whatever is more appropriate. It was up to them to pick who their choice designer was going to be modernizing a look for- after all, that was the challenge. I only wonder what Kayne was thinking leaving Amanda up to such a vital task. Were they able to pow wow at all? If so, I doubt Kayne was able to get a word in- but more on that later.

Without any possible consultation, Amanda knew exactly the best choice for Mr. Kayne Gillaspie- none other than Marilyn Monroe. I’m not one to leave things up to chance but this was meant to be. And the glow on Kayne’s face when he found out was priceless, at least to this Kayne Watcher.

“Can I say how ****ing excited I am?!?!?!”

It brought him to expletives- how great is that? What’s even better was the vision that Kayne had percolating in his brain. Could it be? The love child of Marilyn Monroe and Gwen Stefani? Inspired! I was already imagining some twisted but beautiful world of in vitro fertilization involving fabric, sewing machines, Kaynesicles, and oozing creativity.

Ok Kayne, it’s time to work it. It must have not been easy when on the center stage you see the squabble between Angela and Jeffrey taking place. But knowing the pettiness, bickering, and craziness that might be the world of pageantry, Kayne must have been at home and just worked on his conception… I mean, creation. I have to say that I admire his ability to remain tight lipped.

*small Kayne Watching break*

Oh- and I think we had a secret glimpse of Kayne’s personality last night. Leather huh? Oh there’s just too much fun stuff to say but that will be another time.

Also, can I just say how much I wish I could pull off his wardrobe? As in wear it… not actually any de-robing, de-Kayneing, or any sort of act. When you’re more of a sweater vest desiring type of guy, you learn to admire the daring accessories that others are able to pull off.

*Kayne Watching returns*

It’s model time- here they come girls and boys. Every model has their own personality- let’s just say that. In the world of Project Runway, we’ve seen plenty of them. There are those who can’t seem to show up on time, those who throw themselves over important people, those who cry over a wedding dress, those can’t walk.. and THOSE WHO WON’T SHUT UP!

And Amanda was that type of girl. Boyfriends, iPods, and even passing her life problems onto other designers- welcome to the world of Amanda. But let’s let Kayne speak for this one:

“You should be pretty, seen, and not heard from”

Poor Kayne.

The whole challenge was something big and shiny in front of Kayne’s face. An ad in Elle Magazine? Him and his model? HELLO PEOPLE!

“Love it, Love it, Love it”

Yes, that’s a level 3 on the Love It Kayne Excitement Scale. Please calibrate your TV screen accordingly and secure all loose women and furniture.

Finally, it was runway day kids.

Let’s just say that this Kayne Watcher was quite thankful that he used his inhaler earlier in day. From behind the sihlouette screen, everything screamed Marilyn. Amanda may not be able to control her oral orifice, but she does know how to walk. I felt like I was in the presence of Marilyn herself watching this dress come down the runway. I knew he’d at least be in the top 3.

So there he was standing in the top 3. Did it seem like the judges had nothing nice to say? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Kayne was called “genius” “fab” and was applauded on the whole presentation. He even got a nod from Ms. Nina Garcia- he never disappoints her. Same here at Kayne Watching.

The minutes were dwindling down. Gushing judges were all around. This might actually have been the most competitive episode of Project Runway out of every one to date. So I felt the disappointment for Kayne when Michael was announced the winner. You would have thought that his puppy had just run away into the distance or worse, his shop had a huge shipment of wire hangers. I only wish I could have given him a hug- or as some of my friends would suggest, a Klonapin.

At least Kayne’s buddy Robert was still in.

However, I might need a buddy Robert or a Klonapin next week, the previews have me a little bit irked. But until then, Kayne Watchers, have a Cosmo with extra Kaynetroieau for me.


4 Responses to “Kayne Watching: The Birth of Kayne’s Love Child (spoiler)”

  1. Stephen said

    Kayne’s hair color? “Kayne’s Nuclear Orange Soda with Hints of Strawberries and Lemon”

  2. diabla said

    Love, Love, L – O – v – e Your Take On Our Dear Kayne!!! Let’s Hope That He’s Madly At Work On His Collection!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    XXX – diabla
    P.S. – I’m Ready For My Kayne Design!

  3. KAYNE said

    Just wanted to say I sincerely appreciate the positive support and quirky/witty take on my journey with PR so far. Very impressed and will try to follow your take on my craziness. I like to spread a little love and SugarKayne when someone is such a fan and sooooo nice.
    P.S. I love all the hair color names. I will try to send you the exact color names, but they will not be near as specialized!

  4. Ronikins said

    Whoops…I made a mistake earlier….(down button does go way down). I think he’s a Southern Kaynefort.

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